1,2,3 What will it be?

This is my new "stay sane" motto to help me with my new year's resolution of being a better mother.

1,2,3 What will it be?  A teaching moment or a bad memory?

For the last few months I have been really feeling like I have been failing as a mother.  Why do my kids fight so much with eachother sometimes, and why do they get along so well at other times?  Why do they not take care of their belongings?  My kids stand right next to their dirty clothes hamper when they get undressed, yet they can't make the small effort to just put their clothes in it! : /  I find their most prized possesions all over the house and when I threaten to throw them away, it's like I am ripping out thier soul .  Why can't my kids just do as they are asked the first, oh I don't know, 5 times I ask nicely, rather than wait for me to yell and get mad?  Sometimes I feel like the mother and wife that Bill Cosby described in "Bill Cosby Himself" (if you haven't seen that show since you have been a parent, go rent in right now, you will be in stitches).  Bill Cosby says, please do as your mother says this time, so you don't have to have a beating.  And the kids say back to him, " Dear man, don't you know that we just can't go to sleep without a good beating?"

Anyway, lately I have been thinking about my own mother.  Wondering how she survived being the mother of 8 children including a set of twins.  They always lived on a very tight budget, in a very small house, and they couldn't afford to have thier kids take lessons, have new clothes, new toys, etc.  I asked her a while ago how she did it with 8 kids and she simply said, "We lived very simply".  A year ago I took her advice and took my kids out of extra classes that were not needed and tried to simplify.  Heavenly Father had the same idea 'cause the economy crashed and we didn't have the money to do all those things anyway.  I learned a lot about myself that year.  I thought I thrived on chaos, but I found myself  LOVING the more simple life. I loved being able to be at home helping my kids with homework, spending time with them and letting them actually play with friends.  This year we have piano, dance/gymnastics, and sports, but I have them spread out more evenly and it is not so overwhelming.  The other night I was thinking about my mom again and thought about the different opinions my siblings have about her.  She always had to work to help out with bills.  I remember my mother having to deal with a lot of stress, but she always had time to listen to me and show me love.  A while back my sisters decided to gang up on her and critisize her for the way they were raised, not just things she did, but also they were mad at her about things my dad did.  She was shaken to the core.  I was devastated.  My mother loves us so much.  I though to myself, if my kids ever did that to me, I would just die inside.  I decided right then, sometimes we just have to do our best with what we have, and hope Heavenly Father takes care of the rest.

I pray continually asking for help with raising my children.  I want to be the kind of mother Heavenly Father knows I can be.  I want my kids to remember me as a kind, loving, funny, happy, REAL person.  With real feelings, real emotions, a real testimony, and a real love for them.

I thought, how can I be more patient and use my weaknesses and my childrens weaknesses as teaching moments.  No one is perfect.  So I decided to use the following saying when something comes along that tests my patients:

(take a deep breath and say in my head) 1,2,3 What will it be?

Will it be a teaching moment or a bad memory for my children and me?  I'll keep you posted on the results :)